The Power of Meaningless Touch
The power of meaningless touch... I spent many hours last night just snuggling with my girlfriends, I mean the three of us pretty much snuggled, massaged, held and meaninglessly touched each other for 5 hours straight very appropriately in public while we talked, walked, ate, laughed, relaxed on the beach, shared deeply of our hearts and leaned into our field of contact, connection and trust.
Of course I couldn't do this with just anyone- the three of us love each other very deeply, we all healers, space holders and bliss queens so this interaction was particularly natural. But I cannot overstate the power of this evening for all three of us. Such deep healing arising from the vortex of connection, such simple grace unfolding through the holies of meaningless touch. Our contact left me with such a deep sense of nourishment, connection and relief it felt like a weeklong spiritual retreat. So this morning I am contemplating the majesty of meaningless touch...come along
I am sure it is no surprise to anyone that I am touch junkie, I never miss an opportunity to make contact, to smile at a stranger, to squeeze my kids and my friends, I try to give extra long hugs and stay through the awkward moment when it is appropriate to pull away, I take every opportunity to physically connect with others, and my life is rather full of meaningless touch, contact and connection of all kinds....
I am also starkly aware of how far from the norm such an abundance of touch and connection is for most folks and how too many of us go for decades without meaningless love puddles. We have become a touch-starved species and I suspect that much pain, stress and violence arises directly from a lack of basic human touch.
There is an epidemic of loneliness and a deficit of touch in our world and so much deep suffering, separation and despair arises from this simple yet profound void of contact. When we observe primates in the wild, they pretty much groom each other all day long and immediately get sick and often die when they become isolated and alone- now I know we are no monkeys but that need and impulse to connect, to touch and be touched meaninglessly remains in our biology.
The longing for contact shines through every heart and the journey towards connection is an intricate healing journey we are all making together. We are wired to connect. We are wired to touch. Instead in modern cultures if we are lucky enough to be touched at all, touch is sexualized, usually signifies intimacy or leads to sex. Such a sad state of affairs.
So, I invite you to join me in being a meaningless toucher.... touch your friends as much as possible, hug for more then 20 seconds, snuggle with your bestie, yes even you boys! or at least lean on each other when you talk, be as close as you can. You don't have to hug homeless people, which has become all too rare now as I have joined the ranks of 'normal' people, but take a risk and reach out when you can to whomever you can- it is always a healing movement- you never know how deeply you touch someones life, just by touching them. I realize how outrageous this sounds in most traditional social contexts - and luckily I am rarely in those contexts anymore, but all of us have times with close friends and family and we need to seize these opportunities: reach out, hug, snuggle, and connect for real. A lot.
We need meaningless touch like we need air. It unwinds our nervous system, releases tension, regulates emotion, nourishes the heart, heals trauma, brings us back into the body, and returns to us our rightful place in the family of things. The seat of the Soul is not up. It is not in. It is in relationship.
So please, touch meaninglessly! Your friends your lovers your children your animals, double dose it....especially when you are suffering... Sometimes some meaningless touch changes everything.